Ex’s and Oh’s Page 12

  She opened a drawer, too. Being careful not to disrupt anything, she looked inside. It reminded her that keeping secrets had far-reaching consequences. She was discovering many parallels between her situation and Anna’s.

  “I’m following my instincts. And I’m trying to do what’s best for my child. How do people know for sure what that is?”

  “Most of the time, we don’t know,” he said. “We do what we hope is best, and if we’re lucky, every once in a while we get a glimmer in the form of a report card or an overheard telephone conversation or a smile that tells us we’re on the right track.”

  There was something Caroline had noticed about parenthood. It united people in a way she’d never fathomed. It seemed to her that every parent wanted what was best for his or her child. And not one of them seemed to know for sure what that was. They were all flying blind.

  And to think she’d almost missed it.

  She opened another drawer, then quietly closed it again. Karl’s house was adequately but rather meagerly furnished. The most impressive feature was his collection of books lining the floor-to-ceiling shelves in the living room. Volumes of Yeats, Hemingway and Angelou shared space with Grisham and Greeley, as well as entire shelves filled with law books and tomes whose authors she didn’t recognize.

  She pictured Karl standing where she was standing, choosing a book from his collection. “It doesn’t feel right to be snooping through Karl’s personal belongings.”

  “I thought you wanted to find your grandmother’s diary.”

  “I do. At least I did.”

  Shane was staring at her.

  “What?” she said.

  “You’re refreshing, that’s all.”

  “Refreshing isn’t a word normally used to describe me.”

  “That’s a crying shame.”

  There was absolutely no reason to feel sideswiped by the compliment. Shane Grady was good-looking, but there was nothing unusual about the cut of his dark hair or the breadth of his shoulders. It was just that sometimes, when he looked at her the way he was looking at her right now, she thought that perhaps she’d been looking for the wrong kind of man. Now why on earth should that surprise her? Everything else she’d thought was true was turning out to be false.

  He thought she was refreshing.

  She wondered who Shane was seeing, and if it was serious. She was tempted to say something coy, something like You probably say that to a lot of women.

  She brought herself up short. Caroline Moore was not coy and she wouldn’t pretend to be. She would either ask outright, or she wouldn’t ask at all.

  “Shane, are you in there?” A woman with a three-packs-a-day rasp called through the screen.

  Shane swore under his breath. “Come on in, Mom,” he said.

  “What are you doing driving a Mercedes? You’re coming up in the world.”

  Caroline recognized the large-boned woman shuffling inside. They’d spoken that morning shortly after her arrival in Harbor Woods a month ago.

  Letting the door slam shut behind her, Shane’s mother stopped the moment she saw Caroline. “I see you found him.”

  “He was at the marina,” Caroline said, introducing a smile into the conversation. “He was exactly where you said he would be. Hello, Mrs. Grady.”

  “Misses schmisses. My name’s Rita. And it’s Cooper. Not Grady. Took my maiden name back as soon as I gave Shane’s old man the boot. Best way known to womankind to get in the last jab.” She looked at her son. “What are you two doing over here, anyway?” She made a point of looking at Caroline’s slightly rounded belly. “Holy mother, are you pregnant?”

  “Mom.”

  “I, that is, yes, I am.”

  “Is it Shane’s?”

  “Mom!”

  Caroline held up one hand to Shane. “It’s all right.” And to his mother, she said, “No, it isn’t.”

  “Then why are you hiding over here?” Rita asked her son.

  “We’re not—” Shane didn’t bother finishing.

  “Have it your way. You always did like it better here than at home. Tell Andy to come see his Gram-maw-maw. My lawn needs mowing.” She let the door bounce closed as she shuffled down the porch steps.

  After several seconds, Shane said, “They claimed she would be nicer after she stopped drinking. They lied.”

  If Caroline didn’t burn in hell for keeping her pregnancy from Phillip, chances were she wouldn’t from laughing out loud now. She looked up at Shane. There were lines beside his eyes and between them. He wasn’t a man whose life lacked worry. He was becoming easier and easier to be around.

  “Would you care to get out of here?” he asked.

  Glancing around Karl’s house, she thought it sounded like a good idea. Perhaps too good an idea. She was doing her darnedest to come up with an alternate plan when it occurred to her that she was doing it again. She was compartmentalizing her life, ignoring her instincts and pretending they didn’t matter.

  Assuming her best courtroom stance, she looked at Shane and said, “Before we leave here, is there something you’d care to tell me?”

  He exhaled loudly. He ran a hand through his hair. He finally looked at her and said, “Did one of the nurses say something?”

  One of the nurses? Caroline could only shake her head.

  “You probably noticed Karl doesn’t care to go to the courtyard anymore,” he said.

  Of course she’d noticed, but she didn’t know what Karl had to do with her question.

  “I spoke with his doctors a few days ago. He’s losing ground, Caroline.”

  She lowered herself to a chair.

  As Shane told her about the results of Karl’s EKG and the prognosis, she traced her mother’s charm with her fingertip. Speaking around the ache in her throat, she said, “Did the doctor say how long he has?”

  “A few months at the most.”

  Before her throat closed up entirely, she heard herself say, “I thought you were going to say something else. I was prepared for that.”

  “What did you think I was going to tell you?”

  She really didn’t like this habit she’d developed for saying what she was thinking, but she replied, “I thought you were going to tell me you’re seeing someone.”

  “Me?” His eyes were brown and clear and slightly bemused. “Put me in a scratchy robe and I could be a monk.”

  A monk, hmm? she thought as he locked the door and they went their separate ways. He certainly had the sandals and beard for it.

  “The kid has your chin.”

  Caroline leaned closer to the ultrasound image in Tori’s hand. “Where do you see a chin?”

  The weather had finally broken, and a high-pressure system was to thank for the comfortable seventy-eight degrees. Caroline smiled, because Henry would have been pleased to see that she was taking an interest in the weather.

  All five of the girls were having lunch at an outdoor table at a quaint Italian bistro in downtown Harbor Woods. They were celebrating the official signing of Caroline’s new lease. The owners had finally called, and Caroline had agreed to rent the office space. Tori had added a rider, giving Caroline the option to buy. Soon, Karl’s former offices would house her new practice.

  The sonogram being passed around the table was icing on the cake. Caroline had memorized every facet of the image depicted on the film. She was five months along, and her baby was amazingly, perfectly formed. A tiny hand covered the lower half of his or her face, which meant Tori was joking about the likeness in chins.

  The test results were back. Caroline was healthy, and by all accounts, so was her child. She had strict instructions to be careful, though, to take it easy and not overdo. Alice Cavanaugh continued to watch the levels of various components in her blood. Because Caroline had been on the pill when she’d conceived, an accurate due date had been elusive. However, judging from the size and development of the baby, they were fairly certain the pregnancy would reach full term by the second week in November.
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br />   “Did they say whether it’s a boy or a girl?” Nell asked, staring at the sonogram.

  “Alice is pretty sure she knows, but I want to be surprised. So far, the entire concept has been a surprise. Why stop now? I can hardly believe this is all happening, and yet I can’t imagine going back to the way my life was before.”

  The fringe on the umbrella over their table swirled in the breeze like legs in a chorus line. A busboy chased away a bothersome seagull, and Tori smiled demurely at their waiter.

  The man smiled back, then asked Elaine if she was ready to order. Elaine requested fresh-baked whitefish and steamed vegetables.

  “Are you dieting, too?” Pattie asked.

  Elaine started guiltily. “It never hurts to look one’s best.”

  Which may or may not have meant she was going to give Justin the boot and move on to a more peaceful life, or at least one in which she was respected. At this point, Caroline couldn’t be sure what Elaine was going to do.

  Pattie said, “Make mine the same. And keep the coffee coming, would you?” She glanced at the others. “Molly kept the whole house awake most of the night. She had another earache.”

  Handing the waiter her menu, Caroline said, “I think I’d like the salmon with cucumber sauce and a glass of skim milk, please.” She shrugged. “I’m supposed to eat more calcium.”

  Nell was next. “I’ll have the baked lasagna and a side of fettuccine Alfredo and also stuffed manicotti. Screw this diet. I’m starving.”

  The waiter came to Tori again. “And what would you like?”

  When she looked him up and down suggestively, Pattie nudged Elaine, who nudged Nell. Caroline was already watching the silent exchange.

  Easing her hair behind her shoulder in a manner that made every ring on her finger flash, Tori said, “I’ll have the spinach fettuccine and a glass of your best chardonnay.”

  He didn’t write it down. And he didn’t leave.

  “Why did you take my order last?” she asked.

  “You seem like the kind of woman who appreciates prolonging a good thing.”

  The man was older than the average area waiters, which meant he was out of college. Actually, he looked thirtyish, and didn’t seem any more self-conscious about the steamy undercurrents than Tori did. “Would you care for anything else?” he asked.

  “I’ll let you know.” She smiled.

  The minute he left the table, Nell said, “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  Pattie said, “I was waiting for him to ask you if you were ordering the spinach because you were saving the meat for later.”

  Caroline almost choked on her ice water.

  Pushing her bangs to one side, Elaine said, “Are you going to leave your number on the check?”

  Tori shook her head.

  “Why not?” three out of the other four said at once.

  “I’m pretty much sated.”

  They all leaned ahead, elbows resting on the table.

  “You’ve met someone?” Elaine asked.

  “You might say that.”

  “Are you going to see him again?” This time it was Nell who voiced everyone’s question.

  “I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.” Tori looked in the direction the waiter had gone. Eyeing the others around the table, she said, “Hey, you could have changed your wishes.”

  “I’m telling you,” Nell said, reaching for a warm bread stick, “Tori emits pheromones.”

  “Forget about pheromones,” Tori said, “we’re celebrating Caroline’s new lease, not my latest, um, encounter.” She held up her water glass. “To surprises.”

  “Good ones,” Nell said, raising her glass, too. “The kind that make you say ‘Oh, my!’”

  “Not ‘Oh, dear,’” Pattie said, yawning.

  “Or ‘Oh, crap,’” Elaine grumbled.

  “To surprises,” Caroline repeated, looking once more at the ultrasound image of her baby.

  It was the middle of July. She would be ready to see clients in another month, two at the most. She was enjoying the pace in Harbor Woods. In fact, she liked the small-town atmosphere, and the way it had imploded with thousands of tourists and vacationers. There was little in the way of theater here, but Elaine and Tori assured her there were some fine off-off-Broadway plays in Traverse City. They insisted they would have to go soon, before Caroline entered her last trimester, and needed to visit the restroom every five minutes.

  Caroline had never considered herself earthy, far from it, and yet just the other evening she’d happened to mention that the baby was kickboxing, and suddenly there were four pairs of hands on her abdomen. Every week she felt more a part of their circle.

  She had satisfied nearly everything on her mental check list. She’d come to Harbor Woods and discovered Karl—although she was terribly worried about him. She’d made friends and had found a place to live. Soon, she would open her new law practice. Her life was unfolding. She never knew what the new day would bring, but more and more she felt certain she would be able to handle whatever came her way.

  Caroline stopped on the pier to empty the sand from her Magli sandals. Bit by bit, the marina was waking up.

  Waves washed onto the beach, flattening all that remained of a sand castle built the previous day. The early birds were up, as were the early-morning fishermen heading out to deep water. She’d encountered a few dog walkers on her way, and wondered if Shane would even be awake.

  Her bag was packed, her gas tank full, her summerhouse locked up tight. There was one more thing she had to do before she left town.

  She could see a light on through the port hole window. Since boats didn’t have front doors, she knocked on the window.

  He came out stretching and shrugging into a wrinkled T-shirt, his hair still wet. He took one look at her pale yellow pants and slightly clingy maternity top, and said, “Going someplace?”

  “I have to go back to Chicago to take care of some things. I hate the thought of leaving Karl, but this has to be done, and soon.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “Three or four days. Five at the most.”

  She looked past Shane where clouds gathered near the horizon. A storm was reportedly moving across the lake. If her grandfather were still alive, he would have been watching the storm from the double French doors in his living room. She wondered what he’d thought about as he’d watched it rain. She imagined he’d been thinking about the past, and Anna, and Caroline’s mother. Perhaps, once or twice, he’d been remembering climbing a water tower and writing something scandalous about a teacher he and his best friend hadn’t liked.

  “I’m ready to go,” she said. “But I couldn’t leave without telling you.”

  She could feel him watching her. The air was charged with something nearly as palpable as the approaching storm. “I’m worried about leaving Karl. I wouldn’t go if I had a choice, but I have to make arrangements for the sale of my grandfather’s house.” She was rambling, and she made herself stop.

  “I’ll finish the book you’re reading to Karl, Caroline. And I’ll call you if there’s any change.”

  Just like that, he put her mind at ease. She gave him a card containing her cell-phone number. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  “Have a safe trip home.”

  “Thanks. I’ll try.” These past few weeks Caroline had come to trust Shane. He was decent and honorable. Sometimes she wondered if Tori ever regretted divorcing him. It seemed to Caroline that regrets were part of life. The way growth and change were part of life. As she made her way to her car, she hoped she wouldn’t encounter any surprises when she got to Chicago, or when she returned.

  CHAPTER 12

  Caroline stepped out of the way as the professional movers carried the last of the antique furniture out the front door. For two days, her grandfather’s house in Lake Forest had been turned into an arena for a stately auction run by a well-known Chicago auction house. Everything had gone exactly as planned
. In fact, the only surprise so far had been the amount some of the pieces brought.

  The artwork Caroline hadn’t wanted to keep had been consigned to a local gallery. The antiques that hadn’t brought fair market value had been consigned to a reputable antiques dealer.

  In the two months Caroline had been gone, she’d made inquiries and phone calls, and arranged for appraisals. She’d researched, interviewed and handled everything prior to today’s final estate auction sale. Now, that was over, too.

  She closed the front door, the heels of her Vera Wangs clicking over the parquet floor in the foyer, the sound echoing through the nearly empty house. Turning in a half circle, memories came to her from every direction. There she was at nine, bowing after her first piano recital. And there she was on the stairs before her high-school prom. And a few months later she’d stood at the front door, her cases loaded with everything she would need for her freshman year at Notre Dame. In the background in every memory stood Henry O’Shaughnessy, a quiet, steadfast, prideful presence. It was still impossible to fathom that he was gone.

  The Aubusson rug, the Louis XIV dresser, her grandfather’s favorite leather chair, and the other items she hadn’t been able to part with were in storage. The house was empty without them, without him. The For Sale sign would go up first thing Monday morning. She was doing the right thing by selling the house.

  Wouldn’t Tori have loved to get her hands on a piece of property like this one? It was amazing how many times Caroline had thought of her friends these past three days. She’d spoken with Maria her first night in town. Lo and behold, her grandfather’s former housekeeper was enrolled in summer semester at the local college. Life had a way of changing in the most surprising ways.

  Upstairs, Caroline paused in the doorway of her grandfather’s bedroom where a lamp, an old trunk and a stack of books, on top of which rested his reading glasses, were all that remained. With a hand resting on the rounding swell where her flat stomach used to be, she opened the attic door.

  If she’d thought the downstairs echoed, it was nothing compared to the emptiness up here. The cleaning service had been very thorough. Even the dust that had floated on the air was gone. The only item left was the old desk in which she’d discovered that tin containing Anna’s letter. It wasn’t an antique, but Caroline hadn’t been able to bear to let it go. She hadn’t decided what to do with it.